Postal Road Less Traveled

Grateful was I to be given this chance
I had my own office, I was given carte blanche.
The job was overwhelming, the learning curve never ending.
Management kept rebelling ‘cause the safety numbers were ascending.
I spent five weeks at the OSHA Academy
Traveled to Chicago, Washington, D.C. and Albany.
I was given the opportunity to sharpen my tools in depth
By attending some courses at the Harvard School of Public Health.
With my confidence booming, I did my job with ease
Until someone contacted Legionnaire’s Disease.

I had great support from Steve Brennan and Jay Hooley
And was also very grateful to Lisa and Arthur Larvey.
Reality set in that this job would burn me out,
“Got to find another job,” I would hear my conscience shout.
I heard that Norris left, never to come back it was for certain
Holding down the fort at Stats was a woman named LaFountain.
Not knowing much about her, I proceeded to inquire
All I got from the responses were of feelings strong with ire.
I kept watching from a distance to see what would transpire
Denise soon left fulfilling the DCTs desires.

I returned to Stat Programs for the third time in ‘96
Only to find more DCTs of the opposite sex.
There were some familiar faces from years ago
And we soon lost one named Carrocino.
I was now in the big seat going at it alone
The biggest problem I had was keeping Patty off the phone.
Computerization had a major impact on the workload
It was difficult to keep people from getting bored.
We had a new Finance Manager who went by the name of Rick
And he just didn’t get it, even if we hit him with a brick.

He had trusted the tall blonde named Denise
And he almost lost his pants not to mention his chemise.
Part time workers were beginning to be in vogue
Much to the chagrin and dismay of DCTs of old.
We were joined by a few defectors from across the way in Accounting
I could hear the remarks, ‘What’s the matter with Lee? He’s cracking.”
The tour one shift had gone adrift
When Sal decided to jump off the ship
Joe was convinced, never having a doubt
That mean boss Viola had driven him out.

Headquarters was concerned the numbers weren’t jiving
A position was needed with the emphasis on teaching
The four applicants had difficulty in swallowing the pill
When I awarded the job to the oft-overlooked Bill.
With Bill’s assistance I was able to endure
The ups and downs of the job that’s for sure.
Some people ducked Carrier tests and some IOCS
One even got lost on her way to Essex.
Another slipped and fell while out at Cambridge A
For that he has been relegated to Tour three everyday.

As job openings were posted, few came a knocking
In desperation we were forced to promote McLaughlin.
I never regretted for having made that decision
I didn’t have anyone to blame, it was by my own volition.
I will never forget Kevin, Joe, Dave, Peter and Kathy
Even the ones who left for greener pastures like Richie.
I was truly rewarded in knowing you along the way
You were all very special to me every day.
May your future be blessed with good fortune and good health
You no longer will have to talk about me under your breath.